In recent months the Saudi Arabian government (and possibly several more Arab countries in the weeks to come), in its infinite wisdom and immaculate judgment, has issued a fatwa against "Pokémon," essentially banning a series and merchandising campaign that has enjoyed incredible success in the Middle East. Their reasoning: It's a Jewish conspiracy.

Muslim leaders have included, amidst other ambiguous reasons for the ban, the inclusion of the sign of David and several other ancient symbols emblazoned on individual Pokémon, an unholy mysticism at work that promotes evolution and gambling, and subliminal re-enforcement of Barbara Streisand's eclectic talents. Akadot feels that the corruption doesn't stop there. In an investigative piece that took us as far as the Kosher deli on 126th street, Akadot brings you...

10: New pocket monster named Shlomo coming soon...

9: "Pikachu" means, "Hey, drink refreshing Manishevitz" in Japanese.

8: Detachable Hassidic "Pokémon" locks go gangbusters with youths.

7: Squirtle widely known to snack on bagels with lox.

6: Fourth season cliffhanger reveals that Ash's last name is actually Ketchberg.

5: Fifth season opener to be titled "Oi Vei!"

4: "I choose you" - same words God said to Moses on the mount.

3: The entertainment industry is full of them. How can it not be a Jewish plot?

2: The "Pokémon" theme songs are a raging success with Klezmer bands.

1: Nintendo was founded by a historically elusive tribe of Japanese Jews.

Note: This piece is intended as a satire of the political and social agenda of fundamentalist Muslim leaders and in no way reflects the attitude of Islamic people the world over. Seeing as the story has invaded American headlines with a palpable anti-Islamic tilt, Akadot wishes to contribute only to ridicule of the rhetoric and not the fundamental beliefs of Islam or Judaism.

Pokémon © 1997, 2000 Nintendo, CREATURES, GAME FREAK, TV Tokyo, ShoPro, JR Kikaku, Pokémon, Pikachu and all other Pokémon character names are tradmarks of Nintendo.