Luis: composes a retraction of the Lost Universe, Amazing Nurse Nanako and Ronin Warriors reviews, apologizing for being so kind in his original assessment.
Luis: shows ups on the doorstep of Animerica with resume, writing samples, and the top secret Akadot writers' handbook duplicitously in hand.
Luis: shows his bare breasts to every beered up otaku waving a set of plastic Cowboy Bebop box sets. The slut.
Luis: demonstrates his agility by attending anime conventions and grabbing school girl cosplayers (and opening beer cans) with his vein-bulging, prehensile schlong.
Luis: exposes the truth that ADV actually owns Digital Manga, Viz, Bandai, Central Park Media, Media Blasters, Urban Vision, AnimEigo and your soul.
Luis: releases photographic evidence that Jessica Calvello is actually a man ... and Brett Weaver is actually a woman ... and Matt Greenfield actually hails from the Myxzaderbaun galaxy.
Luis: announces that he is actually a highlander who needs to kill off his Luis Reyes moniker and assume the younger identity of current Akadot editor Tim Law to deflect suspicion.
Luis: dates Mari Iijima. Well, a ten-foot high cardboard cut-out he had made of her, replete with the pop singer's real hair, which he obtained by breaking into her apartment and scraping follicles off of her pillow.
Luis: joins Sailor JAMboree so the group finally has the leg they so desperately need.
Luis: develops an acute case of Yellow Fever ... and gets arrested because he just can't tell.
Luis: reassured by their standards and promise of smack, decides to become a Central Park Media voice actor.
Luis: storms defiantly into the middle of a crowded convention floor to scream out, "They're just cartoons for Christ's sake!"
Luis: starts a companion cult to the famed anime news magazine he helped build and calls it Akapot ... a medicinal haven for the disenfranchised anime journalist.
As always, Akadot welcomes submission for new top ten lists based on existing topics or on entirely new topics. Email all entries to
[email protected].