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Disclaimer: This drinking game is meant as a parody of drinking games in general and is in no way intended to promote under-aged drinking, irresponsible parenting, having children in the first place or praying to the porcelain god as a method of spiritual awakening.
By using the saccharine, though loveably appealing, virtues of "My Neighbor Totoro," staff writer Shawna James ribs America's hypocrisy ... and takes a couple of playful stabs at Hayao Miyazaki's timeless classic along the way.
My Neighbor Totoro Drinking Game
Rule 1:
Every time Mei giggles, children under 18 must drink. This will reinforce happy behavior in your children.
Rule 2:
Every time Satsuki and Mei hug their dad and mom, children under 18 must drink twice. This will really teach your children to love you.
Rule 3:
Every time there is a close up on Granny's wrinkly face, parents drink as punishment for scaring their children by making them watch old people.
Rule 4:
Every time Totoro appears, everyone drinks. (Hey, Totoro's a main character and you have to acknowledge him somehow.) In fact, drink three times. Four if it's out of a no-spill safety glass.
Rule 5:
Every time Satsuki and Mei ride in the cat-bus, drink. We would never condone drinking and driving - that's just plain wrong - but this way the whole family will learn the merits of designated drivers and taxis.
Rule 6:
After your kids have thrown up, and you lovingly wipe the spittle from their mouths, drink every time Satsuki and Mei or their parents do something thoughtful for one another. This will help instill good family values.
Rule 7:
After watching "My Neighbor Totoro," every time you and your family are exposed to gratuitous sex and violence on American network television, pop "Totoro" back in the VCR and repeat rules 1 - 6.
Remember, the family that drinks together, stays together.
My Neighbor Totoro © Studio Ghibli/Fox Family.
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