Some of the tactics used by live action individuals to slip unscathed through sobriety checkpoints don't necessarily offer a fail-safe evasion of the law. Therefore Akadot, as a service to the substance dependent otaku, has compiled a list of the most popular sobriety test foils among animated individuals who need to out fox the fuzz.

Walk a straight line to the end of the block ... by leaping from rooftop to rooftop.

Eyes closed, head back, arms spread, alternately bring a forefinger from each hand to your nose and then do a free standing back flip, landing on your feet.

Name the top five sexiest anime characters. (If Tenchi or Ryoko show up on your list, you're going to jail).

Speak in Japanese because subtitles don't slur.

Activate your voluntary worry mechanism, which will jump start your salacious glands and cause the alcohol in your system to secrete as little droplets around your head ... but the cops won't be able to see them because they're not really there.

Imbibe all of your alcohol when you're super-deformed. When Smokey moseys over, assume normal size thereby reducing the ratio of alcohol in your body.

Claim that your double vision results from the third eye in the middle of your forehead throwing off your depth perception.

If you're a chick, jiggle your jugs.

Enter the officer's mind, discover his darkest fear and then evoke its presence to envelope him in a sheath of terror ... distracting him long enough for you to drive away.

Don't drink and drive. Pedantic but true.

Kampai!

Tenchi Universe © AIC / Pioneer LDC.