So you want to pilot a giant robot, but you don't want to give up drinking? No sweat homes, we got you covered.

Step one in your training will be to assemble a strike force of able-bodied newtype wannabes and secure the fuel needed for the mission. Accordingly, find a sizable table, or lacking that, a spot on the floor clear of comics, action figures and porn. Place as much cheap booze as can be found in the designated area - keep in mind, mecha uses lots of propellant, and no doubt so do your lush friends.

Now, divide your forces into teams of three. Each team assigns a team captain and comes up with a name and number, but nothing sequential. Examples include Gundam 0070, Macross 9.4, 7657 Wing, F 976-LOVE, 666 or, for the crass, TEAM 69.

The remaining two team members are referred to as Left Arm and Right Arm. Both "arms" must be blindfolded. Right Arm (preferably someone left-handed) must put a sock over his right hand and place his left hand on the left hip of the team captain as if posing for a friendly picture or poising to give the captain a reach around. Left Arm (preferably someone right-handed) must put a sock over his hand and place his right hand over the right hip of the team captain...posing for picture...reach around, etc. For more atmosphere, enthusiastic players can decorate their socks, etching finger lines closing into a clenched fist or open palm missile ports at the tips of the fingers. Let your imagination run wild.

The goal of this game is to make the team captain a martyr, a.k.a. drunk. (Taking turns being the team captain is fine, but the game may become harder to play as the evening proceeds.) The team captain, heretofore referred to as "the pilot," must guide his "arms" to bring a glass of alcohol to his mouth - not an easy feat since dexterity is limited by the restriction of opposable thumbs and the slippery actuality of sock on glass or cup.

The pilot may also instruct his arms to tip another player's glass. A command such as "Left arm. Palm up. Move a foot and half to the left. Launch upward forcefully..." may send another mecha's fuel hurling through space.

Every time a drink is spilt, either because of the "arms'" lack of precision or a successful tipping maneuver, both "arms" must drink, fill the pilot's glass again and go for another attempt. Whichever team gets five drinks successfully into the pilot wins the round...but the war, bloody and merciless as it is, wears on.