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Anime Combat Drinking Game: The Secrets of the Greatest Cartoon Fighters -
Cleaving to the philosophy of Jackie Chan, Akadot believes that the more you drink, the better you fight. In that vein, our
staff has compiled drinking techniques that will help you out while watching some of anime's favorite bare-knuckled,
face-contorting, teeth-gnashing clashes. Good luck, noble warriors. And remember that death is best served at the end of
a pint.
Dragonball Z:
- A perceptive student of the fighting arts will have noticed the proliferation of grinding teeth amongst the opposing forces in "Dragonball Z." Ostensibly used to signify anger, this is actually a tactic to keep in the gallon of straight bathtub gin they've just ladled down their gullets.
- The fighters have imbibed so much alcohol that they begin to glow, literally, an aura of spiritual energy forming out of the droplets of ambrosia leaking from the pores in their skin.
- The "Dragonball" cast also tends to be angry all the time, a result of too much Budweiser in their diet -turning them into ball busting, taskmaster, wife-beating brutes. Phrases such as, "Darling, I'm going out to fight Garlic Jr. and save the world from evil," yield to barking commands such as "Beer me, bitch," and "Sometimes a black eye means I love you baby."
- Magical fire balls, though the seeming manifestation of spiritual power, are actually the result of moonshine liquor belches and a lighter.
- And central to the Dragonball Z style of fighting, similar to the mantra of many cult groups, is "get them while they're young." Consequentially Goku mixes Gohan's apple juice with a near lethal dose of tequila, preparing the pup for his future as a fighter. Notice how much meaner the little tike gets as the series goes on...
Street Fighter II V:
- Following "Dragonball Z's" lead, "Street Fighter II V" reveals that the key to being a mean, teen, fighting machine is to indulge in the sweet nectar of the gods. Too young to drink, Ryu and Ken have clearly failed to unlock their potential, but it doesn't take long for them to rage against the machine.
- This series overtly promotes the use of alcohol in the daily regiment of the street fighter. The first opponent the fancy-twins encounter is a rat-faced Guile at a flyboy bar who proceeds to beat the living Promethean heat out of them.
- Though arguable, a latent alternative lifestyle orientation between Ryu and Ken teases the most hopeful yaoi fans. It's most pronounced in their daily suppings of Zimas at the mall. But when they throw down on the street, they ain't caught dead without a 40 oz. on their hip, 'cause they know that sissy boys don't guzzle Mickey's.
- And the real reason behind their globetrotting tour isn't to find the best street fighters in the world, but a post-adolescent fantasy to visit all of the distilleries featured in their "Beers of the World Club" benefits package.
Fist of the North Star:
- If ever a drink could define a show, Bloody Mary would scream "Fist!"
- The necessities of life such as food and water are scarce in this post-apocalyptic future, but the necessary fuel for rage, alcohol, is still available - distilled from the rotting remains of people's livers and other organs freed from their mortal coil by repeated creative carnality.
Battle Arena Toshinden:
- The Organization feels as if they've made clones indiscernible from their flesh and blood counterparts, but the secret to pegging the faux fighters is that they don't reek of regurgitated screwdrivers.
Drink alcohol and fight better, dear children, for the gift of Dionysus really was the ability to kick ass.
Street Fighter II V © Capcom / Goup TAC / Amuse / Yomiuri Telecasting Corp. / Manga Ent.
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