The Traipse Down Memory Lane Drinking Game: So long to the magic
The weekly Akadot anime drinking game provided joy to so many, but alas, after having sent three staff writers to
Betty Ford and shoved the rest in line for a liver donor, our editor has decided it best to put the feature to bed.
Occasionally a drinking game may worm its way back into the pages of Akadot, but popular demand has buried this much
beloved, but admittedly beleaguered Wednesday feature. For the very last one, we ask you to embark with us on a
journey through our favorite moments in the life of Akadot anime drinking games.
We touched on homoeroticism in our very first drinking game, the All Purpose Anime Drinking Game. This
rule alone surfaced at least three latent desires for Spike Spiegel:
Rule 5:
Anytime a male character puts his hand on the barrel of his gun while not firing it- whether he appears to
caress, stroke or merely to hold it- all men in the room must drink. If a male character places his hand on
the barrel of another male character's gun, each man in the room must exchange drinks with another and drink
his "partner's" drink for a 10 count.
An exclusive to various conventions, our printed version of Akadot contained the much-lauded Convention
Drinking Game, from which we drew this star struck rule:
Rule 5:
If you are called on at a panel and you offer the host/guest a drink +20 points. +50 if they accept. +75
if the guest is Japanese.
Our Cowboy Bebop Drinking Game floored most of the staff. "Ballad of Fallen Angels" alone slayed
a majority of our writers with this golden rule:
Rule 4:
Whenever there is an unexplained reference to Spike's shadowy past everyone must drink- but don't
let anyone see you do so. If they do, deny that it ever happened, and drink again.
The tastelessness of our Hentai Drinking Game can be summed up in the simplicity of:
Rule 5:
If you're underage too, drink.
And
Rule 7:
For every act that you've also heard described in a prison documentary, drink.
Our drinking games have also divulged the secrets to dating in anime circles:
Rules for Women:
Rule 1:
Should you answer the door to a lithe, willowy stranger with dark, penetrating eyes, which precipitate a
teary mist that collects in a gentle saline film on his articulated, hairless chest, steady your nerves
with a handy flask of Bushmill's.
Rule 2:
Should you answer the door to a man garbed in mall-casual wear holding a few tasteful flowers in his weak
but impressively clean hands, one or two cosmopolitans might distinguish him amidst a bar of clones.
Rule 3:
Should you answer the door to a bleary-eyed youth with Goku emblazoned on his torso whose mother
waits eagerly in the humming car at the curb, feign illness and consider the benefits of sci-fi
fans over anime fans while you polish off that bottle of peach schnapps that's been sitting under
the sink since your last ill-fated date.
And how to confound a sobriety test:
Tactic 6:
Imbibe all of your alcohol when you're super-deformed. When Smokey moseys over, assume normal
size thereby reducing the ratio of alcohol in your body.
We even considered the anime distributors as well as the fans in our desire to spread joy to all.
Our Anime Distributors Drinking Game was directly responsible for the acquisition of "Lost Universe."
Rule 9:
Any suit in the room must buy a round for the bespectacled, Bermuda shorts-wearing, fans-turned-
distributors who poured their sweat and tears into this risky endeavor for ten long years only to have
their niche usurped by pretty boy thugs and their Ivy League smirks...who have plenty of money to buy
them drinks.
Rule 10:
Every time someone suggests boosting domestic sales by having the phrase "DIRECTED BY SHINICHIRO
WATANABE" emblazoned across the front cover, he is obviously hammered. So brew some hot coffee, sober
the poor bastard up and convince him to stick with the original selling phrase, "SEX, BLOOD, SAMURAI, SEX."
And though the weekly Akadot anime drinking game may be a fond memory, alcohol will never die.
Kampai!
