Editor's Note: This Akadot feature is a satire and is in no way intended as a malicious attack on any company, individual or institution mentioned herein.

From AP (Asphyxiated Press)

In the wake of last year's court-ordered break up of Microsoft, several major corporations have felt the pressures of anti-trust fever. Banks, airlines and various entertainment conglomerates have all fallen under the government's scrutiny. The latest victim in this trend of litigious diversifying, is ADV, popular anime and science fiction entertainment distributor that reported over $326 billion in revenue for fiscal 2000. The company has been ordered by Judge Piecemeal Jackson to break up its Texas conglomerate into three distinctive companies A, D and V. The decision follows a two-year legal battle in which ADV's defense team, headed by amateur sleuth/paralegal Ryo Saeba, was unable to convince Jackson that ADV Films has been a pioneer of innovation. The independent "A" would handle all titles coming into America from Japan, "D" would head up original content that would then ship to Japan for animation and the final company, "V," would release "Farscape."

However, ADV executives challenge the decision. "We're not doing anything wrong, and if the government wants a fight, we're going to give it to them," says Matt Greenfield, Vice President of Production at ADV Films.

In related news, Central Park Media's Anime 18 division has registered as a religious-based aid organization and acquired $30 million from the Bush administration for offering stress relief to terminally single men across the country.

Thanks to Kevin Lillard of A Fan's View for the the Matt Greenfield image.

Editor's Note: This Akadot feature is a satire and is in no way intended as a malicious attack on any company, individual or institution mentioned herein.