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Poké-mano y Digi-mano: The Final Conflict |
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Point - E.W.C.
For me, having to choose between "Pokémon" and "Digimon" is like having to choose
between death by firing squad and lethal injection. Both shows annoy me and, as luck
would have it, I have a 25 year-old boyfriend who watches them religiously. So having
to sit through a couple of hours of that mindless gunk before I get my turn at the
remote, I must say "Digimon" grates less on my delicate nerves. "Pokémon" I abhor ...
loathe ... HATE, HATE, HATE with every fiber of my being!
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Overblown hype, especially that which lures children into the kingdom of avaricious consumerism,
strikes a sensitive chord in an anime purist. Petty snobbery and self-righteousness have little
to do with my disdain for the kiddie phenomenon. I hate "Pokémon" because good anime, anime with
heart and depth and plot, gets booted from America's multicultural pop art showcase to make room
for this cash cow. I hate "Pokémon's" ubiquity: Bulbasaur and Charmander at Burger King; Vulpix
on hair brushes; Ash Ketchum on T-shirts; Jigglypuff keychains; "Pokémon" video games, plush toys,
Pokeballs, electronic pets and just about anything on which you can stamp a Pikachu.
I hate "Pokémon" for aesthetic reasons, as well. With the exception of Team Rocket, and their unexpectedly
cool gender-bending fetish, the characters are just lame. Not to mention that the Pokémon themselves
lack pizzazz. Couldn't the creators of the show give these creatures a better beast language than the
endless chirping, grunting, squealing and screeching of their own names? Most of all, I just don't
like the message "Pokémon" sends to kids.
That's right! I think "Pokémon" is potentially dangerous to impressionable young minds. Speaking not only as an otaku
but also as a leftist, tree hugging, hippie bastard, I think "Pokémon" promotes an unhealthy relationship
between kids and their pets. "Pokémon" taps into a child's primal urge to control and dominate over
weaker, more vulnerable creatures. It encourages the same megalomaniac tendencies that have spawned
miniature houses, toy dogs and, for that matter, World War II. Ash Ketchum hunts down these poor
creatures as they run along in the fields, minding their own business. He confines them inside a little
sphere and then commands them to fight pointless battles they would otherwise avoid. Worst of all, the
Pokémon trainers enter their captives in battle arenas where they rumble with other Pokémon before rowdy
spectators. If I didn't know better, I'd think "Pokémon" is, in reality, a heinous conspiracy to drum up
public support for legalizing cockfights. Did I forget to mention that Ash is training to become a
Pokémon "master"? As an African-American, I take offense to that word, and therefore declare "Pokémon"
insensitive to minorities.
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Counterpoint - Matt
I pity E.W.C. Really. And not just because, after pulling that much nonsensical
verbage out of her rear, she must have spent a week in intensive care. I pity her
because she is wrong. So very, very wrong. Christ, woman! It's a cartoon. To argue that
"Pokémon" - with its joyful and unrepentant weirdness - is inferior to a "slavish" (and I suppose
that's insensitive to minorities too) imitator like "Digimon"...well, I've got three words for you.
Pi...ka...chu.
Because after all is said and done, Pikachu is one monstrously cute son of a bitch. I want everyone
right now to close your eyes and picture Pikachu. See! You smiled! You may not want to admit it -
but you smiled. Cute...cute...cute...he's so damned cute he makes you want to bang your head against a wall.
(But in a good way.) Charmander...Bulbasaur...Squirtle...cute names and cute monsters. Why are they so cute?
I don't know. They're just drawn that way. Digimon are drawn with horns and fur and boxing gloves. And
each of their attacks seem to involve the forceful ejaculation of bodily fluids. I know enough people
who can do that.
A good story doesn't answer every little question for the viewer. And "Pokémon" hardly answers any
questions at all. Where do Pokémon come from? How do they fit in those little balls? Why is a 10-year-old
allowed to roam the countryside unattended by an adult? And, most importantly, what is up with Team
Rocket? Nobody knows! But kids sure love it. That's because "Pokémon" exists in an imaginative universe,
one that makes intuitive sense to a 7-year-old, but rejects the rigid analysis of a cynical know-it-all
like E.W.C. Sure, "Pokémon" has been, shall we say, well-marketed. And it made a few people a couple of
bucks. Nothing wrong with that - that's the American way...and...um...the Japanese way too, I guess.
But to say that "Pokémon" is bad for kids? Yes, the trainers capture little creatures and compel them to
fight - and, yes, this does resemble cockfighting. But who doesn't love a good cockfight? Ash is a good
role model. He has a goal and he works hard to achieve it. And he sets his sights high. "To be the
greatest Pokémon master ever." I like that. Not just a "good Pokémon master" or a "better than average
Pokémon master." Ash wants to be numero uno. Similarly, children are not encouraged to "catch a few" or
"catch your share." No, it's "gotta catch'em all." Ash's obsessive drive for supremacy is a refreshing
change from the "I love you. You love me" slack-jawed rhetoric of the free-love era. Welcome to the 21st
century economy, Bobby! Whether it's Pocket Monsters or market share, today's youth needs to embrace a
competitive philosophy of excellence. And they also need to be cute and lovable. Voila. C'est le
"Pokémon."
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Backing "Digimon" over "Pokémon" is like picking "Gobots"
over "Transformers." Whereas "Pokémon" centers on a single protagonist
who motivates the action, "Digimon" relies on the tired clichés
of mediocre storytelling. Six children are mysteriously pulled from
summer camp and deposited in the DigiWorld, where they bumble from
one episodic conflict to another, helped only by their six gastrointestinally
challenged Digimon. The Nerd. The Cool Guy. The Valley Girl. Tai
and friends read like the latest gifts from the stereotype-of-the-month
club. "Digimon" is plagued by too many characters and way too many
names: Yokomon and Biyomon and Birdramon and on and on. It's a bad
sign when you have to take time out from the action to review the
character's names. And that happens every episode with every character!
Pikachu can communicate more personality and depth using a three
word language than Digimon can muster during an episode's worth
of their incessant yakking. Why bother to let the monsters talk
if they have nothing interesting to say? For that matter, why bother
letting Joe or Izzy talk - they're just going to deliver another
hackneyed punch line?
The creative (and I use that word loosely) forces behind "Digimon"
demonstrate no interest in developing characters. During one episode
a monster, Shellmon, is actually introduced as "something that gets
mad for no reason." Imagine if Shakespeare had given the same treatment
to "Richard III" - "This is the winter ... and I am mad." Certainly
the plot of "Digimon" suffers from the lack of an exciting villain.
Which is cooler: the disturbingly sexy Jesse and James or evil black
gears?
There really is only one way to settle the question of "Digimon"
v. "Pokémon." And that's on the battlefield. Pikachu and pals
will plain punk those DigiDorks. Don't be fooled by the cuteness.
Pikachu would be kicking ass and taking names. (And for "Digimon,"
that's a lot of names.) And he would do it with wit, sophistication
and style. Ditto for Ash. After he was through with Tai and Sora
they'd be looking for a way back to DigiWorld. Now some would say
that my love for "Pokémon," and its hero in particular, stems
from a certain regard for a chain-saw-wielding amputee of the same
name. Maybe so. But with Pikachu at his side this is one Ash who
doesn't need a shotgun to be groovy. (Matt Yamashita)
For Digimon stuff
visit http://www.omochabox.com
The views and opinions expressed in The KareKano column are solely those of Matt Yamashita and E.W.C. and do not necessarily represent the views of Digital Manga, AKADOT or its sponsors.
Pokémon © 1997, 2000 Nintendo, CREATURES, GAME FREAK, TV Tokyo, ShoPro, JR Kikaku, Pokémon, Pikachu and all other Pokémon character names are tradmarks of Nintendo.
Digimon Digital Monsters © 2000 Toei Animation Co., Ltd.
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